You’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?… You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?… You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?

Enjoy your holiday weekend, tumblr. Be safe out there.

(Reblogged from jhollawanders)


Hello friends! A few years ago I was fortunate enough to have a gracious friend ( realtalkwamijo) give me her used turntable, and after recently buying a new one for myself, I figured that I should give the old one away instead of letting it rot in storage. If you want to look up the specifications, the product label reads: “ION iT TUSB05 USB turntable”.

1. Each reblog will count as 1 entry, likes do not count
2. One winner to be chosen with random.org. Winner must have their ask box open and respond within 48 hours to my message. Must also be willing to give me your address for shipping purposes
3. Do not have to be following me
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY: YOU ARE PAYING FOR SHIPPING (via PayPal)!  I’m sorry! Since I’m going to give this away for free, I would rather not pay to have to do so. So, not only is this giveaway open to US residents, it is open internationally as long as you understand that you will be paying whatever exorbitant shipping fee that applies. I live in Southern California; you can calculate tentative shipping costs to your residence from LA.

90% of my followers are from 2010 and inactive, anyone who enters has a huge shot at winning :-) this giveaway will end June 15 at 8:00 PM pacific time. Good luck!

(Reblogged from glassectomy)

The 1/3 of a Rand quote includes two instances of the word “me.” Perfect.

(Reblogged from theclearlydope)




this is cool.

Cool and/or horrifying, depending on how old you are. I’m pretty old.

The total number of candles on all your birthday cakes so far is 666.

As a Teenager … the terror attacks of September 11.

Thanks, almost forgot that one.

(Reblogged from thisismymonkey)


by Bill Charmatz for Sports Illustrated, March 4, 1963

via Modern Graphic History Library


(Reblogged from mightyflynn)




Today in Book News: NPR Books does the happy nerd dance, because two newly discovered Octavia Butler stories are about to be released! Butler, who died in 2006, wrote genre-breaking science fiction at a time when it was almost exclusively the preserve of white men. Butler’s longtime agent Merrilee Heifetz found the two early stories among Butler’s papers at the Huntington Library

Also today: Junot Diaz on the unbearable whiteness of MFA programs, and Satuday is Free Comic Book Day.  

Read more here.


I love Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents; this is fantastic news.

We covered “Speech Sounds” in college. I still think about it, which means you know it’s good.

(Reblogged from brevetcaptain)

I think the producers of The Other Woman aren’t getting their money’s worth with whomever they hired to promote the movie on Tumblr. Out of context quotes from the trailer that (I guess) are jokes super imposed over sorta related scenes in the trailer.

What I’m trying to say is how do I get paid for such lazy ass work?


(via Do We Need To Be Touching? (And 36 Other NYC Etiquette Lessons))

These are great, and this one also happens to be almost my biggest pet peeve. Whether on the sidewalk or in the mall, get out of my fucking way. I can’t stand it when people amble.

LOL, wait 5 seconds, New Yorkers. You aren’t as important as you think.

(Reblogged from oftenconflictednevercomplete)


“I don’t pretend to be any expert on communism or any other kind of a political ‘ism. But you can put me down as an expert at being a colored American, with thirty years of experience at it. And just like any other colored person with sense enough to look around him and understand what he sees, I know that life in these United States can be mighty tough for people who are a little different from the majority—in their skin color, or the way they worship God, or the way they spell their names.”

- Jackie Robinson, from his statement to the House Un-American Activities Committee (July 18, 1949)

AP Photo/William J. Smith

(Reblogged from mightyflynn)


“50 years ago, America’s biggest employer was General Motors, where workers made the modern equivalent of $50 dollars an hour. Today, America’s biggest employer is Walmart, where the average wage is $8 dollars an hour. Which means you can share a room in a transient hotel with a drifter who cuts his toenails with a machete. And Walmart released their annual report this month, and in it was the fact that most of what Walmart sells is food. And most of their customers need food stamps to pay for it. Meanwhile, Walmart’s owners are so absurdly rich that one of them, Alice Walton, spent over a billion dollars building an art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas, 500 miles away from the nearest person who ever would want to look at art. And she said about it, “For years I’ve been thinking about what we can do as a family that can really make a difference.” How about giving your employees a raise, you deluded nitwit? Take the case of Belle Knox. She’s the Duke University freshman who was recently outed as a porn star. But she doesn’t have the typical porn star biography… No, she’s a level-headed articulate 18-year-old majoring in women’s studies. So people are saying, why the porn? Because Duke costs $61 grand a year! Since 1980, college tuition has increased 600% above the inflation rate. I’m surprised they’re not all doing porn. … This is what the Paul Ryans of the world don’t understand — that this is not a country of lazy people and good people, so much as it is a country of rich people and desperate people. Do you know how much Americans owe in student loans? $1.3 trillion dollars. We’re going to have to sell a lot of ass to pay that tab.”

Bill Maher on the vanishing middle class

Real spite for the poor wrapped up neatly in theoretical income equality advocacy. Fuck off.

(Source: inothernews)

(Reblogged from kateoplis)